So, I didn't get in as much trouble as I thought I would...this is a good thing.
But now I'm worried about other things, like if anyone will ask me to homecoming. I sometimes worry I come across as cold to guys - my last boyfriend I mistreated because I was in a bad mental place (DEPRESSION. IT MAKES YOU A MEAN PERSON TO PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT YOU) and even though I apologized and we are now back to being really great friends it really made me rethink how I act around boys. My mom was telling me how all these guys in high school and college that she's friends with now told her that they liked her and how completely taken she was by that.
I don't want that. I don't want to miss out on a relationship with a boy who is a genuine person because I was too cold or my standards were too high and that made him too scared to ask me to go out with him.
I don't know. It would just be really special if a guy asked me - I know that sometimes I'm a bit stuck up because I think I'm more mature than other people, but it would be really special to me.
I will make it clear that I don't want a horribly crazy commitment this year. It's not what I'm looking for. If I got a boyfriend it would totally be because we like each other and we want to spend time together and have a blast, but be VERY AWARE that college is ahead and that Senior year is NOT about being serious to the extent that I choose him over my school.
But just because I don't want to marry someone doesn't mean I don't want a boy to tell me that I am his first choice for homecoming...but I worry too much. Whatever will happen will happen, but this is just one of my girlish moments of angst - you know, the typical 'no one likes meeeee!'
ANYWAY,
sorry that this was a total whinefest. Ever since my Bffl got a bf I've been a little bit more sensitive about boys - I don't think it's because I'm jealous, I just think it's because sometimes I let my insecurities get the better of me and I compare myself to her a lot more. I've always said having a skinny best friend was God's biggest practical joke, but HEY, MORE OF ME TO LOVE.
:>
xoxo,
Hannah
QOTD:
So, what do you think is better? Having a lasting relationship in high school or having several fun ones?
GURL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. IF A BOY DON'T ASK YOU TO HOMECOMING, I WILL KICK SOME BUTT. LIEK SRSLY.
ReplyDeleteAnd I will always loooooovvveeeee you much more than any boy, I swur! You know that! If you were to call or text me and be like, "I need to see you right nao," and I was with Erick, I would be liek, "MAH BFFL NEEDS ME, KTHNXBAI."
That's how much I love you. And stop comparin' yo'self to me, fool! You got much more goin' on for yourself!
LOVE YOOOOUUUUUUU,
Whitbit <3
This has been cheering up time with Whitney.
Pelligrino HAS READ THIS! Just wanted to make that clear.
ReplyDeleteI feel you, man. It's nice when boys are flirtin' with you and you're flirtin' back at them and it's all good and great.
ReplyDelete